this is my life

I have been watching jungle gold and gold rush the past 2 nights, and it makes me feel incredibly stressed... yet I can't look away. What does this mean?

A couple of my kids found out I went on a date this week...oh boy! (apparently some of them have bat like hearing...I swear I was whispering to my team). 1st comment though was "Miss Ward! I knew you weren't going to die alone!" Naturally, I thought of this song. Thanks kiddo....you are the best!

Sometimes I have dreams that are so on the border of reality, I have to take a few minutes in the morning and decipher wether it actually happened or not. And usually, it is something dumb like being asleep in my dream and people coming in my room...so I try to wake up enough to brush my teeth.... my brain is so weird.

I significantly lowered the number of shows in my Hulu queue while off track the past few weeks. I am not even going to tell you how significantly...

Which reminds me: #February17thIsOctober19th best news ever!

Remember how I moved to Midvale in January? Up 3 flights of stairs? I have to move down those 3 flights of stairs soon. Yup...moving again. But only 7 blocks away. Awesome.

I have a love hate relationship with the heater. Mostly HATE. I would much rather have it be cold and cuddle up in my Aggie sweats, slippers, and blankets, than turn the heater on. Most people don't agree with me.

Which also reminds me... I just REALLY need to make it to an Aggie basketball game soon. I have lot's of screaming to do... Who's with me?

Fact: I kind of dislike the thought of the twins being 16 and going on dates. It makes me feel old and weird. Yes, I said it.

My coworker and I are applying to present at the UCET conference in March. #soexcited #ultimatenerdalert. Someone should just buy me suspenders and a pocket protector already....

I literally had to talk myself out of putting up my Christmas happiness tonight. I LOVE Thanksgiving....but I just am so excited to decorate! I blame my mother.

Have a ever mentioned how great my job is? I work with some crazy kids, and some crazy adults, and I love it.

Now I leave you with some of my latest faves:

this song has been playing nonstop for several months

same with this song + the rest of the album, and this song + the rest of the album. Just can't get enough.

I admit.... I wasted a lot of time on this site a bit ago..... and just now.

Watch this.... I bawled my eyes out

Source: lumea.tumblr.com via Whitney on Pinterest

"Be vulnerable. Brene would want you to..."

Here is a fun fact:
I live for a good TED talk. (if you don't know TED...stop what you are doing and spend a couple hours watching the amazingness that the site has to offer)

I mean TED itself stands for technology, education, and design, which are by far 3 of my top 5 most favorite interests. So clearly, this site is just for me.

I love brilliant ideas, creativity, and witnessing amazing people at work, which is what TED is all about.

A few weeks ago, I was having a heart to heart talk with a good friend. We were discussing daily irritations, confusions, joys, and just the meaning of life and love in general. (pretty serious business, right?) Well during this chat (which I swear to you, was not entirely about dating, contrary to what you might be thinking) she asked me if I had seen this particular TED video. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. She told me how she breaks down vulnerability and how important it is in our daily lives.  I went home that night, and immediately looked it up.

Let me tell you. This talk is amazing, and precisly what I needed to hear. I watched it twice right then, it was just that good. She talks about connection, shame, and fear, but wraps it up in a hilarious and very relatable speech. Seriously, take 26 minutes right now to watch this video... you won't regret it.

I have since watched it 3 more times. And am referencing her in regular conversation (yes, the title of this post was something that really came out of my mouth....followed by much laughter of course) 

Here are some of my favorite quotes

• If you cannot measure it, it does not exist
• “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”
• “That's what life is about: about daring greatly, about being in the arena.”
• Lean into the discomfort
• “You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
• "The people who have a strong sense of love and belonging, BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging."
• "I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk"
• "I lost the fight, but probably won my whole life back"
• "Courage; it means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart"
• Wholehearted people have:
• the courage to be imperfect, 
• the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, 
• connection as a result of authenticity 
• the willingness to let go of who they think they should be in order to be who they are.
• fully embraced vulnerability and believe what makes them vulnerable, makes them beautiful
• "You can not selectively numb vulnerability. When we numb the bad things, we also numb everything... joy, gratitude, happiness, and then we are miserable."

Oh there are just so many great things about this talk. I can't wait to get my hands on her book and dive in even more. "Vulnerability is not weakness...." what a lesson! There are so many aspects of my life that I can and need to apply this to. It is about taking matters into my own hands, being truly happy with my life and making opportunities and experiences happen for myself. I love to create things, I love when things change for the better, but so often do I find myself not crossing that line of comfort, afraid of what people might say, or think. Afraid I might get hurt or let down. Afraid it won't work out, or feeling inadequate, weak and even unworthy of, or not good enough for a particular joy. "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change." Clearly, everything she says are words to live by. So be vulnerable peeps, Brene would want you to...

images taken from TEDtalks-Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability