a time and a place

I teach 4th grade, at a year round elementary school in Utah. I love my job (most days), and the year round schedule is the greatest thing on planet earth. Teach 9 weeks, get 3 weeks off. Genius. I just love it...

Except for the entire month of June. It's kind of horrible. I mean, I love the tiny humans, and we do some wicked fun activities, but the month of June, when every other student on planet earth is on vacation? It's rough.  

There was one particular day towards the middle of June when these little ones were acting more like psycho non-human-beings that were trying to drain me of all sanity. I finally had to throw out the math lesson and have a little Come-to-Jesus meeting with them. We talked about the on-going headache I had been experiencing, the lack of patience we all had, and the fact that we were literally still in school for 3 more weeks, and I needed them to chill out so no one died. We talked about having fun, and making the last few weeks memorable, and how that would be much more enjoyable than having their teacher go certifiably insane. I kept saying there was a time-and-a-place for their lunacy, crazy outbursts, and hyperactivity, and that we all needed to work together. It was beautiful.

For like 3 hours.

I kept saying 'Guys, time and a place, come on! Time and a place!" and I made the face that looks just like the weary/tired emoji. -------->

After saying that exact phrase multiple times over the next day or so, one kid said "Why do you keep saying that? What does time-and-a-place even mean?!" (he said this quite dramatically, mind you, it was probably one of my favorite moments, ever)

Hanging my head in defeat, I threw another lesson out the window (this time reading) and we had what I like to call an "Un-Common Core" lesson (that is for all my teacher friends...don't even get me started). We talked about appropriate behavior and how some actions are allowed in situations where at other times they aren't. We talked about different examples in the classroom, as well as in everyday life. My favorite examples of inappropriate behavior they came up with were: 

1. "I probably shouldn't sing Let It Go during sacrament meeting, my mom looked at me so mad!" 

2. "Like when Jaxon was talking like Elmo during the fraction activity last week?" 

3. "When my sister started rolling on the floor at the dentist office. Ummmm, awkward!"

Yes. Kind of. Good work tiny ones. 

It was a great real life moment for the kiddos and I. We made an agreement, and I'm happy to report that "time-and-a-place" was all I had to say for the remainder of the year in order to get my class to a semi normal, yet workable state. 

Luckily July 3rd came (yes, we are in class until JULY 3rd!) no one poked their eye balls out, and there were even tears of parting on the last day of school...but for weeks I haven't been able to get that question out of my head: "What does time-and-a-place even mean?!"

I've been asking myself that and trying to apply it to my life.  It's one of those concepts that on any given day I can totally understand and appreciate, and then 4 hours later, I'm throwing my hands up in the air in complete exasperation. #typicalgirl

For the past 7 months I have found myself really struggling with this. I was going through some weird emotional turmoil, convincing myself daily that I was happy, but living with a broken heart and not attempting or knowing how to fix it. 

So I packed up my bags, (literally) and filled up an entire 10 foot Uhaul (real life tetris people), and moved.... again. (I am 3 for 3 when it comes to moving in January, sheesh). This move did not come easy, I uprooted my life a little bit. I left my friends, my church calling, people I loved, and a life I was comfortable with. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do, and there was a part of me that hated the other part of me for doing it...Lots of tears, insecurities, not knowing anyone, and feeling rejected by people I had once confided in and felt so close to, and suddenly being overwhelmed with that feeling unimportance. 

It was a weird few months...but when it comes down to the facts, there is a time and a place for everything, right? And as much as I hated closing one chapter, it was time. It was time to worry about me, my sanity, and my happiness. It's been a struggle, but luckily (with time) this struggle, and this next chapter is turning out to be pretty okay too. 

I think about the opportunities and situations I have found myself in over the past several months, and am grateful for that leap of faith I sometimes have in not knowing that it is in order to make other things possible. I'm genuinely grateful for my struggles, and the lessons I have been able to learn... even if they were suuuuuuuuper sucky in the process. There is so much that God has in store for each of us, but it's hard to even comprehend the possibility of something good when we only focus on the bad, especially when we close ourselves off to only the timing that WE feel is best. Things will happen in their time, and in their place, there is no sense stressing, and no sense being unhappy if we can just stop and realize that the now is good too. So here's to 1986, and all of its wisdom,

Life sure has a way of breaking us if we let it, I'm happy to report I'm embracing the here and the now. Because THIS is the time, and THIS is the place. #accidentalbrighamyoungquote #imkeepingit

PS. Cheers to the tiny humans who give me a headache far too often, yet allow me to feel needed, loved, and help me ponder life's simple lessons. 

PSS. I feel like it would be blasphemous if I posted without a Jason Mraz moment... so here. Don't worry, it's super applicable, at least in my brain...

illuminated in love

I used to blog all the time. Daily. Sometimes multiple times a day.
And then life happened.
And when I say 'life' happened, I don't really know what that means....
but that is the excuse I am using.

I could go into more, but I've got my heart on a string these days, so I think I'll just let my main-man say it for me. He always says it better anyway:

"In all my “research” on Love, I conclude it has nothing to do with partnership, that’s secondary. Love begins within. When you listen to the little voice in your head, or to the urge in your gut, and you obey it, you will likely lead yourself down the path which you were meant to travel all along. By ignoring your intuition or disobeying your dreams, one becomes stuck, the body grows heavy and tired with incompletion or defeat, and sadness finds it’s way into the movie of your life. When you let your heart lead you, Love triumphs and fills you with the experience of being happy and successful."

In the past year and a half, I've experienced more joy, love, and happiness, than I could have ever imagined....
as well as pain, confusion, and the absolute strange sensation of a hurting heart.
those feelings have somehow been intricately laced in between all that good stuff.
and although it took me some time to come to this conclusion,
I wouldn't trade it for anything else.
Because all these experiences are for me to learn and grow from. I've definitely been letting my heart lead me, and although it's been a ridiculous roller coaster of a journey, I know it's a rollercoaster made just for me, and that makes me happy.

"When you take action to live the life you truly wish to live, you become illuminated in love. You lose yourself entirely and become what in many religions call, a servant of God, or a servant of Love. Others will take note of your glow, either with attraction or envy, both of which inspire. And if partnership is on your wish list, it will find you. You will attract it with your walk and talk and worry-free demeanor."

so here's to life.

here's to becoming illuminated in love.

here's to the ups and downs of the journey,

and the uncomfortable yet thrilling spirals and loops along the way. 

because it's worth it.

*quotes taken from jasonmraz.com

*photo credit

wise words

this guy. 

ya, this guy,

always knows what to say...

definitely having a jason night. 

like always.....

the day i felt perfection and like death all wrapped up in one

my eyes are droopy.
my nose is stuffy.
my throat is itchy.
and i am battling what is either the worst allergies known to man,
or a terrible and dreaded cold from H-E- double hockey sticks (ya, I just went all 4th grade on you right there)
excuse me while i go chop off my head right now....

all of this may be the case, but yet I can not seem to close my eyes.
because right now, in this moment.
i am happy.
and i am exhausted.
that combination is also known as perfection.

why you ask?
maybe because life is a strange, twisted and a down right fan-freaking-tastic journey.
and i am currently loving it.
i feel like for once i have control of the reigns and i can do whatever i want, and be whatever i want to be.
it is a strange, scary and simply exhilarating feeling.

there is no saying what will happen next week. or next month. or next year.
and the thought of that in the past would have had me in a down right, eye-gauging, panic mode.
but not now.
i'm not worrying any more.
what good does that do? i can't plan out the rest of my life like some fantastic musical, because
A. i'm not talented enough to go all rogers and hammerstein on you
B. i would end up disappointed when it didn't go as i planned
C. people might stare at me during every song and dance number....(actually i KNOW they would stare.)
D. and i have not found anyone to play the dreamy male lead yet

but seriously. my main man Jason said it best "I won't worry my life away...." because he is a genius, and that is the truth. there is no point in worrying whatsoever.

life is meant to be spontaneous, and adventurous and i think the past few weeks/months, and the way the rest of the week is shaping out, is a clear indication that i LOVE spontaneity and adventures.

it is the beauty in being where i am today. the trials i have faced, and have yet to face, well, today i am grateful for those. because these pot holes and bumps in the road, have allowed me to find...me.
and have allowed me to truly find the joy in all of this.

it is a beautiful thing. and is something i have been searching for...i am telling you kids, prayer works.

so here is to more blissful summer nights, full of awkward singles ward FHEs, top secret ice cream club runs, flirting with boys, talking for hours, stories in the parking lot, zumba nights, taco tuesdays, poodle head stare-downs, softball games, battle wounds, and anything else that comes my way.

just pray i don't snap at my students after so many late nights....

and just because a post wouldn't be the same without a video.... 

even if it is old news, went viral a while back, and is so totally yesterday,

i just can't seem to get enough. so here. happy day to you. 

grump

regardless the occasion or mood,

there is always a Gilmore Girls moment to explain my day to a 'T.'

I think I will go to bed and start over tomorrow.

Not until I listen to this listen for the 809,732,149 time since April 17th.

Hidden tracks seriously are the greatest little treasures ever.

And this is the best song on the entire album.

MY faaaaavorite.

the harmonies, OH THE HARMONIES!

I feel better already.

I. Love. This. Man. 

#obsessed

(yes, I just hash-tagged on my blog. judge away)

Let's sing to be happy, to feel things, to communicate, and be heard...

It is a very lovely day indeed.

did I purposefully wait up for the exact moment in which I could hit the 'complete my album' button on itunes? 

and do I plan on staying up until who-knows-when listening to it all on continuous repeat?

well....you will never know will you?

oh this album is basically perfect. 

perfect I say!

and I can't wait for my pre-order package to come in the mail!

it will have an awesome new t-shirt, bumper sticker, and of course my hard copy of the album. 

yes... I realize that technically I purchased the album twice.

do I care?

no.

would I do it again.

heck to the yes.

gosh i love this chap.

very very much

and those are all 4 letter words. 

just sayin. 

oh this is an exquisite day if you ask me. 

I Won't Give Up...

Today I have come to the most interesting of discoveries.

Flirting gets you places.

Now don't get me wrong, I have realized this for many years, but have never taken into consideration that I have this power. 

Until today.

It was a simple January afternoon in Park City, Utah. Katie Jane and I were on a Sundance adventure. And two security guards were telling me I needed to be 'someone special' to enter this old building on Main Street. This old building on Main Street happened to be the 'Bing Bar.'  

It was then I realized that flirting was the only thing standing in the way between myself and Mr. Jason Mraz himself.

Yes. Thats right. Mr. A-Z was within reach and I wasn't going to let anything get in my way.

So I pulled out all the stops. I flirted with the security guard, even telling him I loved him... and landed myself in about the 3rd row, at a private, closed name-on-the-special-list, Jason Mraz concert where probably only 75 people at most were present.

Talk about a dream come true!

It was the most magical 70 minutes of my life... so far. Some of you won't understand or appreciate this, but this was a big deal for me. If you know me AT ALL, you understand this for 2 reasons 

A. I LOVE Jason Mraz with my whole entire heart

and
B. I don't flirt. I don't know how, and have been told so by a few people...nice, right?

But I did it today. 

We were led by a security man in all black into a dark a sketchy back alley type stair well, where I could hear Jason's sultry voice in the not so far off distance. Seconds later I stood in awe with my darling friend Katie Jane and we sang along and laughed, and I was just as happy as could be.

Observe:

 

and this new song from his new album, which he announced the name and date of AT this performance, is sure to be my favorite. it was probably my favorite one he did at the concert.

I know right?

Thats how CLOSE I was

I even saw Blythe Danner in her coke bottle glasses walk by later, Melanie Lynskey, and a couple other celebrities that I have already forgotten.

And if that wasn't enough, Liz and I drove back up a couple hours later and flirted our way into a free covered and heated parking spot! 

Cute boys in the parking booth. One had very sparkly blue eyes. Hum.... We also saw Joshua Jackson. That was nice. 

What a fascinating and downright happy day! Love!

Whit and Liz...and a famous person...not really, but thats okay. 

and if you are still confused as to why I love Mr Raz so much, this explains it all:

"Music is the medium I use to recover from life’s often deafening blow. I constantly reawaken thru music. The act of making music is how I tune in and/or tune out to solve life’s puzzles, trying to make the most sense of that which I can’t seem to stop questioning. In life there are problems. In music, if not a direct answer, comes a divine perspective." 

Taken from here. Simply Beautiful. 

how old is your soul?

this song/video is in fact the happiest thing of the year so far.

oh joy joy joy

my heart is happy :)

We got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it...

just thought i would share this little gem here officially.

its been on repeat for weeks. and weeks.

now if only 'mid 2012' would come so i can be graced by his lovely voice some more.

now excuse me while I to go spend my saturday night crafting, watching silly christmas movies, and drinking hot cocoa. 

bliss.

life is good, and when its good i sing...

"Enjoy your journey. Enjoy your commute. It’s your movie even between takes. Acknowledge how incredible you are as walk to and from the set. Listen to music as much as you can. Especially while driving. Don’t text behind the wheel. But if and when you run a red light, you’ll not only want to be paying attention, you best wave to the camera. Because if you get your picture taken in that moment, or worse, sideswiped, I want everyone to see how much fun and humility one can possibly have because you simple chose to do so."

 -mr a-z

to be or not to be

To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are. 

 

 

he never ceases to amaze me

a quote from the one and only jason.
do i even have to mention my undying love for this man?
ya, i didnt think so.

"I am who I am today because my mom encouraged me to do it. If you have kids, or if you work with kids, or simply have access to kids (but not in a creepy sort of way) don’t wait for them to decide what they want to do. Encourage them to try it all on. I worry our kids are racing to be adults when what I mostly see around me are adults racing back to being kids."