Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Sink Basket-Part 4

I know it.
I just know it.
You have been sitting on the edge of your seats for 5 whole days,
waiting and craving the latest slice of any news involving our dear friend Bronzie.
Right?
Well, I am here to tell you...I never heard back.
Nope. Never.
But....

On Sunday, I confronted the culprits, who painstakingly and confidently tried to convince Liz and I that they had no clue as to what we were talking about.
They went to all odds to convince us otherwise.

It didn't work. I know these things. So I just figured we would just eagerly wait until we heard from Bronzie the Basket.

But then game night take 4 took place.
There was laughter. And more cookies. And then in a matter of moments,
Miss Alexis was gone. poof. Just like that.
As my previous post shows, we received picture evidence that she was safe,
which also confirmed the culprits.
Poor Miss Alexis. We just knew she needed to get home soon, much like Bronzie.

So Monday came. A plan of action was thought of, and in process in a matter of minutes.
We don't mess around.
We dressed in black. Cranked up the only song that came to mind.
And were ready for our attack.

We were prepared to side swipe them. Ring the doorbell, catch them off guard, and barge in.
Liz was to find Alexis. I was headed for the kitchen to, of course, grab Bronzie,
but also to capture 'the special glass' in return.
I knew that was what I must take as payback.
It is, after all, a pretty special glass.

Simple plan right? We knew there were risks, but we were ready to fight.

But.... what were weren't ready for,
was getting caught.
Yes. Caught.
We rang the doorbell once, and when no one answered we were prepared to turn around and attempt at a later time.
But of course, at that time, and in that moment, said culprits decided to return home with their Frostys in hand, only to find two wide eyed girls in black hoodies standing on their porch.
There was no where to run. There was no where to hide.
There was only the option of admitting defeat.

Fail.

So... much laughter was held at the expense of Liz and I, but somehow we still managed to run in (ya, the door was unlocked all along), grab what was rightfully ours, as well as the 'special glass' and run back out with only little struggle. Actually there wasn't much struggle at all.
They let Alexis and Bronzie come home, and the 'special glass' is mine for an undecided amount of time.
Not much of a fight, but entertaining none-the-less.

So our friends are home safe, but this is not over. I do still have the special glass, and who knows what they might swipe at the next game night....

#i'llbewatching

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Sink Basket-Part 3

This is kind of part 3, because I still have yet to hear back from Bronzie...
BUT the culprits have been confirmed and a war has begun.
Why?
Well, game night took place again in my lovely home, and who goes missing?
Miss Alexis The Head.
We call her our 5th roommate, because we just love her.

Now, all that remains is her tiara. Sitting there, all alone, with no reason to sparkle.

Poor, poor Miss Alexis.
I was however sent this picture....I guess at least we know she is safe?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Sink Basket

Background: I am a very organized person. I like things in their place, and I like for them to look aesthetically pleasing. Some call it OCD, some call it clean. Some call it crazy. Whatever.

Well, when we first moved into this apartment, I bought this suction cup basket to hang in the sink so that the scrub brush and sponge had a little home. It has been pretty handy, keeping those 2 items out of sight from the counter, and allowing me to stay sane. Until about 2 weeks ago.

Game night take 1, was held on June 3rd. about 10 people showed up. I invited them into my house, made them cookies, and now at least one of them has betrayed me, and stolen my sink basket. The nerve! I thought that maybe someone just hid it, so I honestly have been searching the house for it. I know, I am a tad bit insane, but it is what it is. I had almost given up, my scrub brush and sponge have just been lying in the sink all....unorganized and what not, I was considering a replacement of sorts, until this email showed up. Let the games begin...

Hey girl hey - 

Please.  Help. Me. Now. 

So there i was, minding my own business while you were carrying on, inviting house guests into our sacred sanctuary.  When, all of a sudden, I felt cold hands brush the inner workings of my polished nickel exterior.  I tried to scream out in terror, however there were so many people gathered around eating cookies that no one heard me scream.  Then, the dark interior of a pocket. 

When I again saw the light and came to, I realized I was attached by my now, newly wetted suction cups, to a foreign land, a new territory, a stainless steel, cold, damp, smelly, sink.  It was, in every way, inferior to my previous home that I had grown to love.

I can only hope that you realized I was gone, for I am unable to count the days that I have been missing.  It's hard, dealing with the pressure of the water while the stiff bristles of the sink-cleaning brush drip dirty meat-water on my skin.

I need to get home.  I want to get home.  You treated me so kindly, while my captors don't fully understand the meaning behind sink sanitation.  I can feel myself growing apart from the plastic suction cups, partly due to the grime, partly due to my feelings of abandonment and loneliness.

I once overheard my captors claiming utter victory, and that they wouldn't stop at anything unless you were able to track me down, and bring ______________________ in trade.  In other words, what am I worth to you?  PLEASE.  Answer.  Quickly.

Whitney - I miss your singing in the kitchen.
Liz - I miss your vivacious laugh
Lacey...well, we were never really that close. *sigh*

HELP.  ME.  NOW.

longingly, and sufferingly - your basket until the end,
Bronzie.

SO there you have it. I definitely have my suspicions of who the captors are, and I will stop at nothing until Bronzie is returned to her lovely home...
I mean look at the yucky brush they have made her hold. All gross with the bristles all bent. And not even a cute sponge like our polka dotted one! Ugh, so sad! Poor Bronzie!

 Stay tuned for Part 2 :)

Sunday, November 27, 2011

it's the holiday season, oh woop dee doo!

remember this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?
well i do.
very clearly in fact.
it's weird to think that was already an entire YEAR ago!
so crazy!

but I am happy to report that this thanksgiving drive was MUCH better
and much quicker...
the 5 1/2 hour drive, went just as planned,
(although I did almost run out of gas...how is it that I got to Boise on a full tank with some to spare, and this time had to stop in snowville? thats over 100 miles difference?) whatever
it all worked out!

And it was a lovely Turkey weekend indeed!
I had to work the Mon, Tues, Wed before Thanksgiving (one of the perks of year round school) so my Boise visit was short and sweet, but it was definitely much needed.

Highlights include but are not limited to:
  • gretchen watching Lion King and thinking "Mafoose" (muh-foo-s) is a good name for her first born
    • A. thats a horrible name
    • B. its MUFASA!!! seriously? just about died laughing.
  • favorite quote of the weekend "Is there a difference between lesbians and homosapiens?" 
  • a DVR full of lifetime/hallmark/abc family christmas movies just for me to watch
  • turkey day at grandmas
  • seeing family
  • the tradition of black friday ads spread all over the floor after the turkey has been consumed
  • this year actually GOING black friday shopping
  • standing outside target for an hour
  • standing inside the checkout line for 1.5 hours to buy my happy christmas tree
  • trying to flirt with the guy standing in front of me, fail
  • mall shopping at 2 am
  • getting decked in the face by some IDIOT girl in the mall at 3 am
  • literally yelling at above mentioned idiot girl, causing her to flee in sheer terror 
  • feeling rather drowsy and delirious driving home
  • more christmas movies friday morning
  • christmas light hanging with father and samuel
  • experiencing a real like clark griswold moment...blasted lights
  • annual family christmas extravaganza till 1 am
  • more decorating and light hanging
  • more shopping
  • chats with my ma
  • another turkey dinner
  • a beautiful drive home with glee christmas and bieber christmas music :)
  • flirting with the starbucks man...thank you for making my day
  • another turkey dinner, yummmm
  • decking the halls at my apartment
oh how i LOVE the holiday season... dont you?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

this week

this week i...

  • went back on track...yay! i missed my kiddos.
  • had to write my first real set of sub plans for an all day workshop. barf
  • was observed twice. ick
  • legitimately cheese grated my thumb. ouch
  • painted my finger nails twice. awesome
  • was asked if i could be set up 4 times. wha?
  • cleared up my hulu queue. legit.
  • cleaned my room several times. nice
  • set the smoke alarm off. oops
  • organized my bathroom drawers. sparkly.
  • watched the hunger games trailer 7 times. teehee.
  • did NOT go see breaking dawn...yet. hum.
  • had several strange dreams. yup.
  • made delicious pasta. mmmm.
  • created several spotify playlists...including happy christmas ones. love.
  • got way super excited for christmas. eek!
  • graded lots of papers. oof.
  • and probably some other things...yes.

what an exciting week right?
the most entertaining thing was definitely when i told samuel i cheese grated my thumb. he asked if i got some epidermis in my nachos...unfortunately i probably did....

well, only 3 1/2 days until HOME! yay! and that means my FAVORITE day of the year! thanksgiving? well im looking forward to that but nope. the day AFTER thanksgiving. its THE BEST!!!

peace out folks!


Monday, November 15, 2010

i laughed. i cried

this is clearly the most brilliant idea i have in fact ever seen.
although, this couple isn't really believe-able,
i truly believe this concept is grand.
ONE snuggie?
FOUR sleeves?
genius!

now i just gotta buy me one of these, and find two more arms.
or a boy, whichever comes first...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

the search is on

my sister just caught me singing along to glee with an absurdly large smile on my face.
(nothing out of the ordinary)
she made a weird face. laughed. and said...
"you and mister shuester sure are perfect for each other."

i couldnt agree more.
now, if any one could find the real life version of this man for me, who maybe was a little less scandalous, but still had that wonderfully curly hair,  i would be forever indebted


Sunday, May 30, 2010

the more i see the less i know

an unusual version of golddigger had me laughing so hard i was crying. CRYING i say! wow. i just cant get over it...someday when i get an iphone, thats the first app im purchasing

this whole summer school online thing is kind of difficult. there are soooooo many distractions

kym and i added something special to our bucket lists... 'watch every movie that Stephen Tobolowsky has starred in'

i get the chills every time i hear idina menzel or kristen chenoweth sing.

my job finally starts this week! im so excited to see my campers and go on field trips, and swim days, and play ridiculous games all day long! ahhhhhh i really do <3 my job....

this is one of my top 5 favorite movies, and it always will be

this week, i found out my sister really likes badmitton ;) and bears
 
soooo i think this kid is pretty good. hopefully he can help us all forget about that one kid that got by some mystery got a record deal... justin beiber...bleh

okay i apologize...this is really stupid. but kind of funny at the same time. i had a good laugh

im compiling the ultimate summer of 20 and 10 soundtrack. its quite fabulous. and this song is indeed included

i fake planned my trip to Paris. and found my hotel. *gasp* i have this thing for blue doors....too bad its around $520 a night :S...........this one is quite lovely as well and only a 7 minute drive to this one thing im "semi" obsessed with

i will be in student teaching orientation 3 months from today. ahhhh thanks for totally freaking me out Emily!

i taught singing time in primary today and used this story. I absolutely loved this article!

i looked at the itunes play count to see how many times i had played this song since tuesday, and... well... um... im not going to publicly admit how many i have listened to it...

im totally going to buy this...when i have money 

the msn homepage says 'be ready for jupiter and uranus to unite' i totally just laughed out loud....i need to grow up

well...thats the end of my ramblings for today. i tried to refrain from so many 'glee' blurbs, but i noticed there are still several. sorry. i will try to shelter my obsession a little better.
actually...i make no promises
.happy sunday everyone.



Saturday, May 1, 2010

dear miss ward...

hopefully this post doesn't come across as snotty/self-centered/'look at me, look at me', because the sole purpose of this is to for entertainment. i mean i laughed i lot, so hopefully you awesome readers do as well.

these are some of the most entertaining letters i have ever received.of course i had to decode invented spelling, which is probably the best part about reading this...oh wait, scratch that, the pictures they drew are fantastic. 


'best teacher ever grand prize goes to miss ward. this is the best laffy taffy joke i ever had miss ward. why did the old lady put roller blades on her rocking chair?...because she wanted to rock and roll. this is for you miss ward. a big hug'

'i miss you so much miss ward. i wish you could still be a teacher and your so nice i wish i could be your daughter.'

'good by miss ward. you are the best teacher in the whole whole whole world'

'you earned a gold medal. i like you miss ward'

'dear miss ward. you were a great teacher. you teach good. i wish i could see you again. i will never forget you.

'miss ward i am sad because you are leaving. i hope you are safe. i love you.'

'miss ward can be a good teacher when she graduate. i love her.'

'you make me very happy'

'miss ward. i like dogs'

'thank you. you are pretty. look at my cat picture.'

'miss ward is nice. thank you for helping me learn'

*plus a variety of i love yous and i like yous. from students who weren't so thrilled about having to write anything and just wanted to color.*

oh man. nothing like cards from a slew of 7 year olds to make you feel good about yourself. 
it was actually sad to have to say goodbye. 







Thursday, April 8, 2010

yippee-skippee!

my brother texted me and it simply said "jambo...this is samuel"
i think i laughed for a good 15 minutes.
that kid is awesome

tomorrow is fruitcake friday.
and following that is stupendous saturday.
basically just a wonderful weekend will soon unfold

i need a sewing machine.
mom?
first thing im doing when i get home
is making several of these

i really want to pre-order this
i have previewed several songs
and already know it will be the new
soundtrack of my summer

4 days. 4 days. 4 days!
i may or may not have switched my shift for the occasion.
dont underestimate the power of obsession.
it completely overtakes you :P

in high school, i was mocked for my closet full 
of every colored flip flop that old navy produced
(that is no exaggeration. i have sources that could confirm)
and wearing 500 braclets that matched my outfits.
i heart flip flops.
and i totally whipped out my stash of bracelets.
i forgot how awesome they are.

the finale of gilmore girls
will never cease to cause tears upon tears to stream down my face
followed by an extremely unsettling feeling
which turns into anger at the fact that the show should 
NOT have ended that way.
which in the end leads to vicarious amounts of time
surfing the internet in hopes of a GG revival.
no good.

this thing is pretty legit.
but im sure i dont have to tell anyone that.
it pretty much speaks for itself.

i planned and wrote an entire science unit today for 1st graders.
as annoying and time consuming as it was...
it was kind of fun
*dont hold me to that statement*

seriously, these books are really fantastic
i dont know if i can wait 136 days for number 3.
book number 2 only took my 5 hours to read
because its just that good.
#3 better not disappoint. 

i created a piano, relaxing, classical station on pandora.
i named it 'study/sleep...take your pick'
as for now, i chose to sleep.
good night world.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

my heart is broken

i got an email from the Jason Mraz store this morning at 11:41 am.
i didnt see it untill 2:14 pm
as soon as i read the email
i rushed over to see how much this awesome new item was going to cost me
im a sucker for anything jason mraz...
and 100% of the proceeds go to Surfrider Foundation,
(a non-profit organization dedicated to the protection and enjoyment of our world's oceans, waves and beaches) come on. i LOVE oceans and waves and beaches.
well WHAT do you know!
by 2:14 pm they were sold out.
gone. zip. nadda. no more.
i even put my name on a waiting list, and 2 hours later i got this email:

RUDE!!!
2 months? for serious?
kill me.
how will i survive?
i will die of thirst!
and a broken heart!

Monday, January 25, 2010

oh gretchie

i had an absolutely hilarious conversation with my sister yesterday over text
oh how i love her...

g: hello my darling sister... your turkey blog is sooo funny
me: hi. haha you mean about the turkey?
g: where did you see it again?
me: in the middle of the road :)
g: wouldnt they be like in arizona?
me: um, no there are turkeys in utah
g: i meant like in winter, do they fly south?
me: oh my heck! you are killing me gretch
g: well dont they? like seagulls
me: turkeys? flying south? you are killing me gretch...
me: think about it...and then google it.
g: tee hee turkeys dont fly. oopsies!
me: yay!! 1000 points for you!
g: sorry. okay i dont know my animals very well...
me: hahahahahaha :)
g: stop laughing.

oh man. her and samuel always know how to make me giggle.
never a dull moment with my little siblings haha

souvenez-vous qui vous êtes
-whit sariah

Saturday, January 23, 2010

gobble gobble

please direct your attention to this post on my other blog
hahaha im still laughing so hard.

souvenez-vous qui vous êtes
-whit sariah

Monday, December 28, 2009