Showing posts with label a happy heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label a happy heart. Show all posts

Sunday, July 27, 2014

a time and a place

I teach 4th grade, at a year round elementary school in Utah. I love my job (most days), and the year round schedule is the greatest thing on planet earth. Teach 9 weeks, get 3 weeks off. Genius. I just love it...

Except for the entire month of June. It's kind of horrible. I mean, I love the tiny humans, and we do some wicked fun activities, but the month of June, when every other student on planet earth is on vacation? It's rough.  

There was one particular day towards the middle of June when these little ones were acting more like psycho non-human-beings that were trying to drain me of all sanity. I finally had to throw out the math lesson and have a little Come-to-Jesus meeting with them. We talked about the on-going headache I had been experiencing, the lack of patience we all had, and the fact that we were literally still in school for 3 more weeks, and I needed them to chill out so no one died. We talked about having fun, and making the last few weeks memorable, and how that would be much more enjoyable than having their teacher go certifiably insane. I kept saying there was a time-and-a-place for their lunacy, crazy outbursts, and hyperactivity, and that we all needed to work together. It was beautiful.
For like 3 hours.

I kept saying 'Guys, time and a place, come on! Time and a place!" and I made the face that looks just like the weary/tired emoji. -------->

After saying that exact phrase multiple times over the next day or so, one kid said "Why do you keep saying that? What does time-and-a-place even mean?!" (he said this quite dramatically, mind you, it was probably one of my favorite moments, ever)

Hanging my head in defeat, I threw another lesson out the window (this time reading) and we had what I like to call an "Un-Common Core" lesson (that is for all my teacher friends...don't even get me started). We talked about appropriate behavior and how some actions are allowed in situations where at other times they aren't. We talked about different examples in the classroom, as well as in everyday life. My favorite examples of inappropriate behavior they came up with were: 
1. "I probably shouldn't sing Let It Go during sacrament meeting, my mom looked at me so mad!" 
2. "Like when Jaxon was talking like Elmo during the fraction activity last week?" 
3. "When my sister started rolling on the floor at the dentist office. Ummmm, awkward!"

Yes. Kind of. Good work tiny ones. 

It was a great real life moment for the kiddos and I. We made an agreement, and I'm happy to report that "time-and-a-place" was all I had to say for the remainder of the year in order to get my class to a semi normal, yet workable state. 

Luckily July 3rd came (yes, we are in class until JULY 3rd!) no one poked their eye balls out, and there were even tears of parting on the last day of school...but for weeks I haven't been able to get that question out of my head: "What does time-and-a-place even mean?!"

I've been asking myself that and trying to apply it to my life.  It's one of those concepts that on any given day I can totally understand and appreciate, and then 4 hours later, I'm throwing my hands up in the air in complete exasperation. #typicalgirl

For the past 7 months I have found myself really struggling with this. I was going through some weird emotional turmoil, convincing myself daily that I was happy, but living with a broken heart and not attempting or knowing how to fix it. 

So I packed up my bags, (literally) and filled up an entire 10 foot Uhaul (real life tetris people), and moved.... again. (I am 3 for 3 when it comes to moving in January, sheesh). This move did not come easy, I uprooted my life a little bit. I left my friends, my church calling, people I loved, and a life I was comfortable with. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do, and there was a part of me that hated the other part of me for doing it...Lots of tears, insecurities, not knowing anyone, and feeling rejected by people I had once confided in and felt so close to, and suddenly being overwhelmed with that feeling unimportance. 

It was a weird few months...but when it comes down to the facts, there is a time and a place for everything, right? And as much as I hated closing one chapter, it was time. It was time to worry about me, my sanity, and my happiness. It's been a struggle, but luckily (with time) this struggle, and this next chapter is turning out to be pretty okay too. 

I think about the opportunities and situations I have found myself in over the past several months, and am grateful for that leap of faith I sometimes have in not knowing that it is in order to make other things possible. I'm genuinely grateful for my struggles, and the lessons I have been able to learn... even if they were suuuuuuuuper sucky in the process. There is so much that God has in store for each of us, but it's hard to even comprehend the possibility of something good when we only focus on the bad, especially when we close ourselves off to only the timing that WE feel is best. Things will happen in their time, and in their place, there is no sense stressing, and no sense being unhappy if we can just stop and realize that the now is good too. So here's to 1986, and all of its wisdom,


Life sure has a way of breaking us if we let it, I'm happy to report I'm embracing the here and the now. Because THIS is the time, and THIS is the place. #accidentalbrighamyoungquote #imkeepingit


PS. Cheers to the tiny humans who give me a headache far too often, yet allow me to feel needed, loved, and help me ponder life's simple lessons. 

PSS. I feel like it would be blasphemous if I posted without a Jason Mraz moment... so here. Don't worry, it's super applicable, at least in my brain...




Monday, October 21, 2013

illuminated in love

I used to blog all the time. Daily. Sometimes multiple times a day.
And then life happened.
And when I say 'life' happened, I don't really know what that means....
but that is the excuse I am using.

I could go into more, but I've got my heart on a string these days, so I think I'll just let my main-man say it for me. He always says it better anyway:

"In all my “research” on Love, I conclude it has nothing to do with partnership, that’s secondary. Love begins within. When you listen to the little voice in your head, or to the urge in your gut, and you obey it, you will likely lead yourself down the path which you were meant to travel all along. By ignoring your intuition or disobeying your dreams, one becomes stuck, the body grows heavy and tired with incompletion or defeat, and sadness finds it’s way into the movie of your life. When you let your heart lead you, Love triumphs and fills you with the experience of being happy and successful."
In the past year and a half, I've experienced more joy, love, and happiness, than I could have ever imagined....
as well as pain, confusion, and the absolute strange sensation of a hurting heart.
those feelings have somehow been intricately laced in between all that good stuff.
and although it took me some time to come to this conclusion,
I wouldn't trade it for anything else.
Because all these experiences are for me to learn and grow from. I've definitely been letting my heart lead me, and although it's been a ridiculous roller coaster of a journey, I know it's a rollercoaster made just for me, and that makes me happy.
"When you take action to live the life you truly wish to live, you become illuminated in love. You lose yourself entirely and become what in many religions call, a servant of God, or a servant of Love. Others will take note of your glow, either with attraction or envy, both of which inspire. And if partnership is on your wish list, it will find you. You will attract it with your walk and talk and worry-free demeanor."

so here's to life.
here's to becoming illuminated in love.
here's to the ups and downs of the journey,
and the uncomfortable yet thrilling spirals and loops along the way. 
because it's worth it.


*quotes taken from jasonmraz.com
*photo credit

Friday, November 16, 2012

this is my life

I have been watching jungle gold and gold rush the past 2 nights, and it makes me feel incredibly stressed... yet I can't look away. What does this mean?

A couple of my kids found out I went on a date this week...oh boy! (apparently some of them have bat like hearing...I swear I was whispering to my team). 1st comment though was "Miss Ward! I knew you weren't going to die alone!" Naturally, I thought of this song. Thanks kiddo....you are the best!

Sometimes I have dreams that are so on the border of reality, I have to take a few minutes in the morning and decipher wether it actually happened or not. And usually, it is something dumb like being asleep in my dream and people coming in my room...so I try to wake up enough to brush my teeth.... my brain is so weird.

I significantly lowered the number of shows in my Hulu queue while off track the past few weeks. I am not even going to tell you how significantly...

Which reminds me: #February17thIsOctober19th best news ever!

Remember how I moved to Midvale in January? Up 3 flights of stairs? I have to move down those 3 flights of stairs soon. Yup...moving again. But only 7 blocks away. Awesome.

I have a love hate relationship with the heater. Mostly HATE. I would much rather have it be cold and cuddle up in my Aggie sweats, slippers, and blankets, than turn the heater on. Most people don't agree with me.

Which also reminds me... I just REALLY need to make it to an Aggie basketball game soon. I have lot's of screaming to do... Who's with me?

Fact: I kind of dislike the thought of the twins being 16 and going on dates. It makes me feel old and weird. Yes, I said it.

My coworker and I are applying to present at the UCET conference in March. #soexcited #ultimatenerdalert. Someone should just buy me suspenders and a pocket protector already....

I literally had to talk myself out of putting up my Christmas happiness tonight. I LOVE Thanksgiving....but I just am so excited to decorate! I blame my mother.

Have a ever mentioned how great my job is? I work with some crazy kids, and some crazy adults, and I love it.

Now I leave you with some of my latest faves:

this song has been playing nonstop for several months

same with this song + the rest of the album, and this song + the rest of the album. Just can't get enough.

I admit.... I wasted a lot of time on this site a bit ago..... and just now.

Watch this.... I bawled my eyes out


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

let us lay in the sun...

sometimes you have a crappy day,
and then you wake up and start over.
and realize that life is just good.
the sun was out,
the breeze was nice,
weekend plans are coming along quite nicely,
a student brought me a cafe rio gift card,
i even had a smile on my face when a student called me mom,
and another student called me daddy.
serious? daddy?
haha! life.
i just love it.
....apparently it is time for a wax?
*cough cough....awkward!

*who is with me? i'm in need of a picnic in the sun... yes yes indeed

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Let's sing to be happy, to feel things, to communicate, and be heard...

It is a very lovely day indeed.
did I purposefully wait up for the exact moment in which I could hit the 'complete my album' button on itunes? 
and do I plan on staying up until who-knows-when listening to it all on continuous repeat?

well....you will never know will you?

oh this album is basically perfect. 
perfect I say!

and I can't wait for my pre-order package to come in the mail!
it will have an awesome new t-shirt, bumper sticker, and of course my hard copy of the album. 
yes... I realize that technically I purchased the album twice.
do I care?
no.
would I do it again.
heck to the yes.

gosh i love this chap.
very very much
and those are all 4 letter words. 
just sayin. 


oh this is an exquisite day if you ask me. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

a special, ooey-gooey, love-filled day

i just love this day.
its fun and pink and sugar filled, and just full of love.
love is good. love is great. love is grand.
no matter what kind.
i wrote this post last year, and i still stand by it.
this is a happy happy day, filled with love and joy.
and although i think spending the day with 4th graders gives me a reason to just love this day,
i think everyone should love this day. because its just awesome.

also, this secret video from mr mraz made my whole life...yes, i am that easily pleased :)
happy valentines!
and mark your calendars for april 17th :) EEK!

also, im posting this again...just because i can. and because i love it. and because i cant listen to it with out getting emotional. why? because when i do, i relive this moment...and that was one happy moment. ya, im a dork.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

how old is your soul?

this song/video is in fact the happiest thing of the year so far.
oh joy joy joy
my heart is happy :)