Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Sink Basket

Background: I am a very organized person. I like things in their place, and I like for them to look aesthetically pleasing. Some call it OCD, some call it clean. Some call it crazy. Whatever.

Well, when we first moved into this apartment, I bought this suction cup basket to hang in the sink so that the scrub brush and sponge had a little home. It has been pretty handy, keeping those 2 items out of sight from the counter, and allowing me to stay sane. Until about 2 weeks ago.

Game night take 1, was held on June 3rd. about 10 people showed up. I invited them into my house, made them cookies, and now at least one of them has betrayed me, and stolen my sink basket. The nerve! I thought that maybe someone just hid it, so I honestly have been searching the house for it. I know, I am a tad bit insane, but it is what it is. I had almost given up, my scrub brush and sponge have just been lying in the sink all....unorganized and what not, I was considering a replacement of sorts, until this email showed up. Let the games begin...

Hey girl hey - 

Please.  Help. Me. Now. 

So there i was, minding my own business while you were carrying on, inviting house guests into our sacred sanctuary.  When, all of a sudden, I felt cold hands brush the inner workings of my polished nickel exterior.  I tried to scream out in terror, however there were so many people gathered around eating cookies that no one heard me scream.  Then, the dark interior of a pocket. 

When I again saw the light and came to, I realized I was attached by my now, newly wetted suction cups, to a foreign land, a new territory, a stainless steel, cold, damp, smelly, sink.  It was, in every way, inferior to my previous home that I had grown to love.

I can only hope that you realized I was gone, for I am unable to count the days that I have been missing.  It's hard, dealing with the pressure of the water while the stiff bristles of the sink-cleaning brush drip dirty meat-water on my skin.

I need to get home.  I want to get home.  You treated me so kindly, while my captors don't fully understand the meaning behind sink sanitation.  I can feel myself growing apart from the plastic suction cups, partly due to the grime, partly due to my feelings of abandonment and loneliness.

I once overheard my captors claiming utter victory, and that they wouldn't stop at anything unless you were able to track me down, and bring ______________________ in trade.  In other words, what am I worth to you?  PLEASE.  Answer.  Quickly.

Whitney - I miss your singing in the kitchen.
Liz - I miss your vivacious laugh
Lacey...well, we were never really that close. *sigh*


longingly, and sufferingly - your basket until the end,

SO there you have it. I definitely have my suspicions of who the captors are, and I will stop at nothing until Bronzie is returned to her lovely home...
I mean look at the yucky brush they have made her hold. All gross with the bristles all bent. And not even a cute sponge like our polka dotted one! Ugh, so sad! Poor Bronzie!

 Stay tuned for Part 2 :)

1 comment:

  1. This might as well be a CSI case. So sad!