one of those 'ahh ha' moments

we have all been through it.

the never ending 'what am i doing with my life'

the 'is this really for me?'

and the 'what am i getting myself into?'

moments that kind of make you want to pull your hair out and run away and hide in a dark corner.

i have had my share of these moments.

especially within the past year as i have really been immersed in to college courses that really gave me a taste of the 'this is what i will be doing for the next billion years' feeling

its hard to make decisions. 

and then even when you do make decisions, its hard to feel confident that its the right choice.

i am really good at second guessing myself. and freaking myself out and changing my mind far too often.

i mean, i know i want to be a teacher,

but its easy to get caught up in the pressure of

'can i do this?'

'do i really enjoy this?'

'is this really what i should be doing right now?'

all i have to say is being a grown up is kind of tough.

but tonight i was blessed with an 'ahhh ha' moment.

it came as a surprise. it came at a much needed time. and it was in the form of a movie trailer.

huh? yes. this movie trailer had me in tears.

what a powerful film this will be.

just watching this filled me with all sorts of  'i can do this' feelings.

i want to make a change.

i want to make a difference in even just one kids life.

i want to help shape a better tomorrow.

its the little things like this, that make me realize im doing the right thing with my life.

its a great feeling these 'ahh ha' moments.

im quite the fan.

i made a pledge to see this film 'Waiting for Superman'

and i really hope you will too

the more i see the less i know

an unusual version of golddigger had me laughing so hard i was crying. CRYING i say! wow. i just cant get over it...someday when i get an iphone, thats the first app im purchasing

this whole summer school online thing is kind of difficult. there are soooooo many distractions

kym and i added something special to our bucket lists... 'watch every movie that Stephen Tobolowsky has starred in'

i get the chills every time i hear idina menzel or kristen chenoweth sing.

my job finally starts this week! im so excited to see my campers and go on field trips, and swim days, and play ridiculous games all day long! ahhhhhh i really do <3 my job....

this is one of my top 5 favorite movies, and it always will be

this week, i found out my sister really likes badmitton ;) and bears
 
soooo i think this kid is pretty good. hopefully he can help us all forget about that one kid that got by some mystery got a record deal... justin beiber...bleh

okay i apologize...this is really stupid. but kind of funny at the same time. i had a good laugh

im compiling the ultimate summer of 20 and 10 soundtrack. its quite fabulous. and this song is indeed included

i fake planned my trip to Paris. and found my hotel. *gasp* i have this thing for blue doors....too bad its around $520 a night :S...........this one is quite lovely as well and only a 7 minute drive to this one thing im "semi" obsessed with

i will be in student teaching orientation 3 months from today. ahhhh thanks for totally freaking me out Emily!

i taught singing time in primary today and used this story. I absolutely loved this article!

i looked at the itunes play count to see how many times i had played this song since tuesday, and... well... um... im not going to publicly admit how many i have listened to it...

im totally going to buy this...when i have money 

the msn homepage says 'be ready for jupiter and uranus to unite' i totally just laughed out loud....i need to grow up

well...thats the end of my ramblings for today. i tried to refrain from so many 'glee' blurbs, but i noticed there are still several. sorry. i will try to shelter my obsession a little better.

actually...i make no promises

.happy sunday everyone.

a joyful disposition

I am determined to be cheerful and happy, 

in whatever situation I may be; 

for I have learned from experience 

that the greater part of our happiness or misery 

depends upon our dispositions, 

and not upon our circumstances.

 - Martha Washington

yay

i have been waiting for this one!

a disgusting display of affection

in case you didnt know,

i really love jason mraz.
a lot.
like maybe semi obsessed.
or overly obsessed.
i guess it depends on how you look at it.
after his latest album release in 2008
i thought my love for this man could never be anymore.
i mean the words! the music! the emotions!
its a phenomenal album.
and then i saw him live.
it was magical.
and happy.
and my love grew ten bazillion times more.
then a few weeks ago I had another discovery.
jason mraz lives on an avocado farm.
seriously?
how can my heart hold any more love for this man?
well i am here to assure you that this avocado farm/ranch...whatever you call it
sealed the deal.
someday some guy will have to be pretty fantastic
if he thinks he is going to take jason's place in my heart.
im just sayin'

um...check out jason mraz's latest blog post.
awesome? yes.
makes my heart happy? yes.

Why is it easier to affirm “something’s wrong” than to say “everything’s great?”
Isn’t it strange for us to say, “I’m lazy. I’m fat. I’m no good,” thereby creating our life experience to be one that is late, tired, and worthless. Leave it to our egos to keep us in that small game and hold us back. If you haven’t started yet, I invite you take on affirmations that brighten your day. Create a bigger life for yourself simple by saying things like, “I am tireless, perfect being. I have access to everything and I am complete.”

Check out Jessica’s Daily Affirmation. She’s got it all figured out.

Go shout everything you love about you.

Dear Mom and Dad,
I am whole. I am stoked. I love this day. I love my job. I love my sisters. I love my brother. I love my cats. I love my city. I love my state. I love my songs. I love my keyboard. I love my curly hair. I love the grey one in my beard. I love that this is what my life looks like. I love you! -Jason

can you see why i love this man?
im ordering this next to let everyone know how much i heart him.

this place rocks!

why yes i DID intend for that awesome pun in the post title...

hahaha 

totally spent the weekend in moab

and it was too awesome.

like seriously, i could hardly contain myself most times.

i was so mesmerized by the infinite beauty 

and how amazing and majestic the entire area is.

it was definitely a happy weekend

full of silliness

giggles

meaningful conversation

(as well as really entertaining conversations)

good food

great people

and just an all around wonderful time.

 

i will try not to go too overboard with posting pictures...but i make no promises

 

 first stop...north and south window arches :)

 awesome

 this picture fills me with joyyy

 sleeping under the stars <3

 we made it!

 we really loved 'Cairn/Karen'

 having fun at 'double o' arch

shopping "downtown moab"

i bought a pretty legit moab shirt

and a stellar sticker for my waterbottle.

success!

*weekened highlights...(warning, these are mostly inside jokes...i apologize)

'hey cow i ate you! wait no i didnt. wait...what is roast?'

'its for a good cause'

'tourist'

'dear sand. dear sun. dear clouds. dear rain. dear river. dear...'

'i really want to do something rebellious, like climb a tree, or go hiking..'

'*-*-*-*-*'

'jen is caressing my hand, and it should worry me...'

'stop it! im just laying here thinking!'

 

<3 it sure was a great weekend.

and it ended with our wedding shower for katie, 

which i dont have pictures of,

but just believe me when i say we had a grand time!

walking billboard for USU

well here it is. the sentimental, heartfelt post about the end of the semester.

i know you have all been eagerly waiting and anticipating its arrival...

well, its the end of the year. the end of my so called 'life in logan.' its finals week. may 2010 which should mean im graduating, but im not...im really awesome and chose to be a music minor which combined with my lack of ability to pass a certain math class the first time around, set me back a semester. but im totally fine with it. im not ready to have to totally grow up yet anyways. but even though i wont be rocking the gap and gown this weekend i still am leaving logan officially. i decided to complete my last semester, (in which i will be student teaching) somewhere new. away from the so-called 'college scene' and on to 'new' adventures. im moving to salt lake somewhere. dont know where, dont know with who. but thats where i will be. i officially was placed in an elementary school in sandy, UT which is about 20/30 minutes from the salt lake -ish area.

it should be interesting to say the least.

all i can say now, is that im beginning to have a hard time with this concept. logan has been my home away from home for the past 4 years and every summer i get so anxious and excited to come back. im so attached to this place, and all of its glory. i love my aggies, and will continue to be, as my mother would say, 'a walking billboard for USU' forever because this little town and all its aggie blue pride has a special place in my heart. yes, that sounds incredibly cheesy, and dont worry im laughing at myself for saying it, but its the truth. i have learned so much about myself and life in general, and im realizing how its hard it is to have to leave now. when i say i have been on a roller coaster for the past 4 years, i am stating the biggest understatement known to man. i have been through so many difficult times and have had so many hard lessons to learn (which i wont go into), but i have also had the best times of my life (gag me, this isnt suppose to be comical and sappy, but sorry thats how its turning out) from countless crazy roadtrips, to late night walmart runs, to watching far too many movies in one night, to deciding that 2 am is the perfect time to make german pancakes, to having your major consume your entire existence, and to meeting people who you relate to so well, you could have sworn you were separated at birth. its obvious to say that these are the friends that i will have with me throughout my life. the ones that know the true me, and have already seen me through the best of times and the worst of times. i hope they are okay with being stuck with me for the next couple decades, cause even though this is some sort of ending, we all know that 'Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end'. Here's to beginnings and endings, and a whole bunch of new adventures!

first, a much needed reflection on the past 4 years. weird...

show me a true blooded aggie

who doesn't love the spot where the sage brush grows!
...man im going to miss this place...

dear miss ward...

hopefully this post doesn't come across as snotty/self-centered/'look at me, look at me', because the sole purpose of this is to for entertainment. i mean i laughed i lot, so hopefully you awesome readers do as well.

these are some of the most entertaining letters i have ever received.of course i had to decode invented spelling, which is probably the best part about reading this...oh wait, scratch that, the pictures they drew are fantastic. 

'best teacher ever grand prize goes to miss ward. this is the best laffy taffy joke i ever had miss ward. why did the old lady put roller blades on her rocking chair?...because she wanted to rock and roll. this is for you miss ward. a big hug'

'i miss you so much miss ward. i wish you could still be a teacher and your so nice i wish i could be your daughter.'

'good by miss ward. you are the best teacher in the whole whole whole world'

'you earned a gold medal. i like you miss ward'

'dear miss ward. you were a great teacher. you teach good. i wish i could see you again. i will never forget you.

'miss ward i am sad because you are leaving. i hope you are safe. i love you.'

'miss ward can be a good teacher when she graduate. i love her.'

'you make me very happy'

'miss ward. i like dogs'

'thank you. you are pretty. look at my cat picture.'

'miss ward is nice. thank you for helping me learn'

*plus a variety of i love yous and i like yous. from students who weren't so thrilled about having to write anything and just wanted to color.*

oh man. nothing like cards from a slew of 7 year olds to make you feel good about yourself. 

it was actually sad to have to say goodbye.